Trials
by writteninhaste
Summary: 21 sentences/themes about Dom and Kel. Tells a story.


**Trials**

**Battle**

The battle is horrendous and the ground is littered with the Tortallan dead. Quasim lies amongst them, and Kel cannot help the chocked sob that escapes her at the sight of his corpse. Beside her, Dom is pale, eyes bright with tears he's not allowed to shed. He's a commander – he's not allowed to cry. Descretely, she reaches for his hand, wrapping it in her own. He looks at her and there's desperation in his eyes, a pleading and a need. She nods, and some of the desperation fades. She doesn't stop him, when he comes to her tent that night.

**Release**

He drowns himself in the feel of her - heated flesh against heated flesh, a steady rhythm like the pounding of a drum, dark and primal and instinctive. She acknowledges briefly that it shouldn't have been like this, not the first time. Not as a release of emotion, of grief and hate, of a loathing for a war and the death of a comrade. But he needs her, now, tonight - and she loves him too much, has wanted this for too long to deny him. It's over quickly, a rush of heat and a stab of cold as he leaves.

**Firsts**

They continue on as though it never happened and when months later they accidentally fall to talking about it, he's mortified to find out it had been her first time. He thought she had bedded Cleon, and she's actually quite offended by this, though she doesn't let it show. She knows many people must have thought it before, whispered it to each other behind closed doors – but it hurts to know he was one of the number.

**Break**

Slowly their friendship disintegrates, and whether it is because she's ashamed or he is, neither can say. But the easiness of nature, the camaraderie that was once there has faded and they're reduced to being casual acquaintances. People notice – Raoul and Neal especially – but no one says anything.

**Loss**

She ceases to ride with the Own, instead joining Buri with the Riders – though she's not really needed. Buri looks at her with compassion and understanding – Kel is sure that she knows at least the basics of what happened – and always finds something for her to do. She's grateful that Buri is letting her keep busy.

**Signs**

When she receives Royal orders to once again join the Own, she wonders briefly about refusing to go. But she shoves that thought aside – she has a duty, and a job to do, and besides their both adults – they can handle it. She goes to say goodbye to Buri, and she wonders if the troubled look on the commander's face is a bad sign.

**Breathe**

She has to force herself to remember to breathe when she sees him standing there, yelling strike-block combinations for his men. The sun sinks into his midnight hair and even from this distance she can see how blue his eyes are. She'd forgotten just how handsome he is.

**Gaze**

He turns his head and laughing blue eyes, meet a dreamer's hazel gaze. He falters and something flashes across his face before he hides it behind careful neutrality. She gives him a small smile and turns away, unaware of the longing, desperate look that seeps into his gaze.

**Home**

The men of the Own welcome her back with open arms and joyful shouts, and she realises that by avoiding him, she's avoided them too, and she's sorry. These are good men, good fighters who followed her into Scanra and back and she's ignored them. She smiles at them and returns their greetings – pleased that none of them have decided to hold it against her.

**Choices**

They work together, she's careful around him, and it's not until weeks later, when they're fighting a rogue band of spidrins, that she does something foolish to save him. He sits there in the mud from where she pushed him, the spidrin that attacked them dead at his feet, staring at her bleeding wound runing from elbow to wrist. When he looks her in the eyes, the anger in his gaze is so fierce that she turns away.

**Terrified**

He storms into her tent that night and takes her roughly by the shoulders. "_Never_ put yourself at risk for me again!" He shakes her trying to make her understand. Yes, he is angry, but more than that he's terrified. He doesn't know what he would do if she died.

**Talking**

After that, they talk more. Not about much, and not of anything important. But they're talking, and that's a start.

**Smile**

Gradually, she feels herself starting to smile again, and it feels strange because she has not done so in ages. The first time she does so, is at one of his jokes, and she doesn't miss the look of delight on his face when he notices. He smiles at her, and she smiles at him, and both think that maybe they should try being friends.

**Friends**

Raoul watches, and smiles. Though he would never presume to ask his sergeant and his ex-squire as to what caused the rift, he can take a guess, and he's glad to see that they've started mending bridges.

**Shadow**

Days pass, and seasons fade, he's a Captain now, and anyone who hadn't known them before would say they were the best of friends. But Neal sees and Yuki notices and both know that whatever this relationship is – whatever the two commanders are calling it – it isn't the friendship they once knew.

**Star Gazing**

He finds her, alone one night, staring at the stars. She's whispering the constellations to herself – she doesn't know he's there. He watches for a while, mesmerised by the sight of her bathed in stars and he wonders how he ever let something so precious slip away. He goes to her.

**Forgiveness**

She turns, startled by his sudden movement, and her eyes widen as she realises who is there. She's shaking and he acts on instinct, wrapping her in his arms, whispering apologies and begging her forgiveness. She listens, to the explanations and the pleas, and she finds her heart aching – wanting to let him back in.

**Surrender**

She pulls back and he kisses her. And she's shocked, because it's something he's never done before – not even then, on _that_ night – but it's sweet and tender, and as he whispers, "I love you", she doesn't care how clichéd the moment is. All that matters is that he's here, and that he cares, and that she's forgiven him.

**Morning**

She wakes the next morning, feeling as though a weight has been removed from her chest, and for the first time in a long while, she smiles as listens to the birds sing.

**Waiting**

He's there, waiting for her outside the mess, and the smile he gives her lights up his face. She overhears Wolset remark that he hasn't seen the Captain this happy in a long time and she realises that all this affected him as much as it did her. When Fulcher reveals that he's barely spoken to a Court Lady in all this time, Kel realises just how much he was hurt.

**Yes**

When he asks for her hand, she says 'yes' without a second thought. He makes her happy, he loves her, she loves him, and she learnt long ago that being away from him, simply hurt far too much.


End file.
